Geneen Roth Lost and Found- Save Me-Part 3

It's So Easy!

Do you think you’re just one IPO away from being rich? Is your partner going to earn so much you won’t have to think about money? Is it a matter of who is going to save you rather than what you are going to save?

Roth maintains that being saved is the equivalent of [ "staying small and willfully blind"[1] Furthermore, you must believe that you deserved to be saved because you are special, not like everybody else.

For example, because her father was her hero she believed she would receive part of his three million dollar estate. She believed, despite previous contradictions, she was special to him. She was sure her father would eventually acknowledge her uniqueness with hundreds of thousands of dollars. Yes, she noticed his dishonesty but her specialness would insure his love and generosity.

She received nothing when her father died. Ouch!

I felt special when I got a credit card. It signified being a “real” adult in the world. The more I used credit the more credit I got. Because I could easily afford the minimum payments I did not impose any limits on my spending, rather my charging. I was special and my credit cards proved it.

Eventually, despite an above average salary, most of my income was going to credit card payments. I did not have money to call my own. I was embarrassed and ashamed, alternating between bravado and despair. Instead of feeling special I felt duped and feared not being able to make the minimum payments.

Roth posits there’s nothing special about wanting to be special. The damage is in the belief that something outside of ourselves will do it for us.

It’s a lesson I am faced with over and over again.