Elusive Love

Valentines Day is days away and if you're a lady looking for love check out this book.

Steve Harvey's 'Straight Talk No Chaser' Book Review

Steve Harvey's book "Straight Talk No Chaser" could change your luck this Valentine's Day.

"Straight Talk No Chaser" starts by outlining how men are likely to feel about relationships according to their age. A man in his late 20s is likely to be so focused on making a career that marriage isn’t on the agenda. A man in his 30s having achieved some stability may be ready for a monogamous relationship. By his 40s a man is in his prime, happy to have a home and family, and in his 50s he wants to solidify his legacy.

Harvey believes marriage is the completion of manhood and laments that men are not more willing to share the benefits of it. If you’re a woman who wants marriage consider what "Straight Talk" offers.

First, if you want a committed relationship do not settle for less. Simply put, if a man can have you without a commitment, he is not likely to make a commitment. If you don’t make marriage a requirement he won’t.

Second, it’s crucial to question a man early in the dating process. According to Harvey, a man will always answer your questions in a way that puts him in the best light. The chapter on how to effectively question a man is worth the price of admission, alone.

Third, no sex for 90 days. Why 90 days? Because if a man is not willing to give you  time to decide he is worthy of you, he is not the man for you.

Steve Harvey is not a therapist. It should be noted he is on his third marriage. Ex-wife Mary accuses Harvey of multiple affairs. His current wife, Marjorie, was his mistress during his marriage to Mary and claims that he abandoned her and turned their son Wynton against her. Even so, relationship experts like Dr. Pat Allen and Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger endorse similar policies.

"Straight Talk No Chaser" is  an enjoyable easy read that's bound to prompt a lot of discussions.

Steve Harvey's 'Straight Talk No Chaser' Book Review

Steve Harvey's book "Straight Talk No Chaser" could change your luck this Valentine's Day.
"Straight Talk No Chaser" starts by outlining how men are likely to feel about relationships according to their age. A man in his late 20s is likely to be so focused on making a career that marriage isn’t on the agenda. A man in his 30s having achieved some stability may be ready for a monogamous relationship. By his 40s a man is in his prime, happy to have a home and family, and in his 50s he wants to solidify his legacy.
Harvey believes marriage is the completion of manhood and laments that men are not more willing to share the benefits of it. If you’re a woman who wants marriage consider what "Straight Talk" offers.
First, if you want a committed relationship do not settle for less. Simply put, if a man can have you without a commitment, he is not likely to make a commitment. If you don’t make marriage a requirement he won’t.
Second, it’s crucial to question a man early in the dating process. According to Harvey, a man will always answer your questions in a way that puts him in the best light. The chapter on how to effectively question a man is worth the price of admission, alone.
Third, no sex for 90 days. Why 90 days? Because if a man is not willing to give you  time to decide he is worthy of you, he is not the man for you.
Steve Harvey is not a therapist. It should be noted he is on his third marriage. Ex-wife Mary accuses Harvey of multiple affairs. His current wife, Marjorie, was his mistress during his marriage to Mary and claims that he abandoned her and turned their son Wynton against her. Even so, relationship experts like Dr. Pat Allen and Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger endorse similar policies.
"Straight Talk No Chaser" is  an enjoyable easy read that's bound to prompt a lot of discussions.

Made in Dagenham and the Equality Pay Act

Made in Dagenham is about the 1968 strike by women in Dagenham, England, which eventually resulted in The Equality Pay Act.
When the Ford Dagenham female machinists work was categorized as unskilled resulting in a pay cut, they went on strike. When all the female machinists from the other Ford plants in the U.K. joined the strike, Ford was forced to shut down. The women had to stand up to Ford management and to their husbands, many of whom were employed by the same plant.
Made in Dagenham is a slightly fictionalized account reminding us that the fight for gender equality is not in the distant past.
Small moments in the film hit hardest. Sally Hawkins, who plays Rita O’Grady, finds herself thrust into a leadership position. When she first meets with the local union representative, he tells her “keep your head down when they (the Ford executives) ask questions and let the men do the talking.” Later, as she rushes off to a union conference, her husband reminds her he is out of clean shirts.
Sometimes the behavior best illustrates the times. For example, when the American Ford representative is welcomed into his English counterpart’s home, his host offers to take his hat and coat. He then immediately hands it off to his wife.
The film is not without humor. There is the real-life moment when a strike banner reading "We Want Sexual Equality" failed to unfurl properly and read “We Want Sex” instead.
The end result was the passing of the Equal Pay Act of 1970, which made it illegal to have different pay scales for men and women. Please note that was two years after the strike, and American women still earn less than men.
Made in Dagenham is a reminder that we have come a long way, but the fight must continue.

Til Debt Do Us Part - Newlyweds

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978764437 by Drina Turner December 06, 2010 Were you in debt before you got married? Do you talk about money with your partner?  How do you handle your money even if you do not have a partner? Saturday nights on CNBC’s “Til Debt Do Us Part” Gail Vax-Oxlade shows couples how to get out of debt and build a stronger relationship. If they are willing to do whatever she says, they are rewarded with $5,000.00. Michelle and Zack are newlyweds. Michelle is an office administrator earning about $34,000 a year. Zack was in sales before deciding to go to school full time and become an architect. He furnished the apartment (without Michelle’s input) on credit, bought a second hand car (also without Michelle’s input) on credit and leaves Michelle to figure out how to pay for everything. Michelle copes with the stress by shopping. After reviewing their expenditures, Gail shows them they are overspending by $3,000.00 a month. At that rate, in five years they will owe $270,000.00. Ninety percent of marriages break up because of money problems but this couple agrees to follow Gail’s program. The first step is to cut up their credit and debit cards. Then they are .put on a cash budget reducing their spending from $4,500 a month to $1,300.00. Despite that, they will have to earn $500.00 more a month to make the budget balance and repay debt. Gail then has movers take away their leather couch, big screen TV and deluxe coffee maker. Why? Because they are not paid for. A week later Michelle is working at the stables and Zack has picked up a sales job. The biggest surprise is they have money leftover!  As a reward, Gail returns their furniture. Then Gail has them join another couple and play the Newlywed Quiz. Each couple answers the following questions. How do you split chores? How many kids do you want to have? Who is going to stay home with the baby? How do you want to spend your time? Not surprisingly, Michelle and Zack learn things about each other they did not know before. Michelle realizes Zack does a fair share of housework and Zack is surprised she wants to spend more time having fun. Their next challenge is designing their home. Despite their different styles, (he is very detail-orientated, she favors broad strokes), they are talking and enjoying each other. By the end of the show, it is clear this couple is on the right track. If they continue with Gail’s plan they will be out of debt in twenty-two months, have money in savings and an emergency fund. They have earned the $5,000.00 and a canoe camping trip! The non-compliant couples are a sharp contrast. It is disheartening because their turmoil and anxiety will surely escalate. It is hard to predict who will come away victorious but you stand to gain valuable insight about your relationship to money.

http://www.gather.com/viewArticle.action?articleId=281474978764437

The Fairy Jobmother: Parent Trap- Episode 3 by Drina Turner

November 13, 2010 08:56 PM EST Have you given up looking for work? Do you think there are no jobs left to apply for? If so, you might benefit from watching “The Fairy Job Mother” Thursdays on Lifetime. Hayley Taylor, an employment expert from the U.K., is here to help the unemployed regain their confidence and get back in the workforce. Recently she met with Ray and Deanna Senior. Deanna, formerly an interior designer, earned over $200,000 a year. Ray is a mechanic who also worked in pool construction. They lost their jobs within weeks of each other. Living beyond their means without any savings quickly resulted in losing their home. The family of six (four children) were forced to move in with Ray’s parents. They have been there two years. After meeting the family Hayley observes their behavior. It is apparent Deanna is truly “the alpha female” that Ray described. He describes himself as hardworking, capable of delegating responsibility but has not looked for work in a week. The next step is a financial assessment. Hayley reviews their income (approximately $2,466 a month) and outgo meeting with much resistance from Deanna. Its obvious Ray does not have an accurate picture of their spending, leaving it to Deanna and his parents to fill in the gaps. Now the action plan begins. First, Hayley prompts Ray’s parents to issue a deadline for them to move out. Then off to the library to prepare new resumes. Here is where Hayley’s employment expertise comes in.  She points out Deanna’s resume is too long (three pages) and although Ray’s objective is to be a mechanic, he did not include his experience. Moving on, Hayley arranges for Ray and Deanna to do some work at the Westin Mission Hills Hotel followed by knocking on doors and handing in their resumes. After they have interview scheduled Hayley kicks into high gear. She interviews them the way a prospective employer would. She provides feedback on their answers, appearance and offers suggestions like not bringing your cell phone into the interview. Make eye contact, do not fidget in your chair, cover any tattoos and dress professionally. Predictably, by the end of the hour Deanna and Ray are offered jobs. Deanna will start at an art gallery and Ray with Paradise Volkswagen. Despite her resistance, Deanna admits they could not have done it without Hayley's help. If you are unemployed, the show could give you useful ideas that work. You may see mistakes to avoid. Epilogue: Deanna eventuall accepts a catering position to better balance work and family.  Ray did not take the job with Paradise Volkswagen. Maybe there is a show in that.

What's Eating You on E

We are a nation plagued by image while struggling with obesity.  How we look impacts how others treat us and how we treat ourselves. Many people, men and women, develop eating disorders to look good but find themselves in an agonizing lifestyle that accelerates their death.

Wednesday nights on E “What’s Eating You” takes a very close look at individuals grappling with eating disorders. They meet with therapists to uncover the reasons for developing this defense system and attempt, with their help, to break free of it.

Mona, 41, had lap band surgery two and a half years ago. Although the resulting pouch is the size of a golf ball, she eats past its capacity, purging twenty times a day.

We learn that Mona grew up singing in her father’s Pentecostal church. After being molested by her friend’s father, she decided to make herself unattractive. She eventually got a contract and recorded the number  hit “We Can Make it” in 1992. Her fear of success drove her to eat more and the record company dropped her when she hit 400 pounds.

Andrew, 23, was one of eight children. He was a chubby kid who grew up watching his mother be beaten by different boyfriends. Eventually he lost weight and became a track star in high school. He lost a scholarship when he broke his tibia from over exercising. Fearful of weight gain he became bulimic. During the day, he will drink ten cups of coffee and eat two packs of gum. If he does eat food he immediately binges and purges after. When he feels extra stressed he also cuts himself.

The episodes are quite graphic. We watch the individual buy food, consume and dispose of it. It is even more jarring because the footage switches from color to black and white throughout the hour.

Sometimes there is progress but not always.

By the end of the hour Mona has stop binging, lost twenty-two pounds and is performing again. 

Andrew cut himself so deeply he needed seventy stitches. His roommates ask him to move out and he has no place to go

Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness.

 Watch an episode and see for yourself